Sunday, October 24, 2010

#997 Of 1000 Things To Do Before You Go To Dog Toy Heaven

#997: GO ON A ROAD TRIP TO SEE THE WORLD'S LARGEST KIELBASA

Any kielbasa, kolbasa, kubasa fans out there?  I myself am a fan of really big things and road trips so this is a no-brainer.  The fine specimen is 42 feet high and weighs 6 tons.  It took 4 years to make. (A bit more than the average dog toy.)

What a work of art!  Now only if it could sing Elvis tunes or dispense tequila...
I give this one a BUCKET RATING OF 6/10.
THANK YOU.  THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

#998 Of 1000 Things To Do Before You Go To Dog Toy Heaven

#998: CREATE CHAOS AT A STARBUCKS DRIVE THRU


I'm a die-hard Starbucks fan.  I like to get hopped-up on caffeine. And I like their "special" drinks.  I like going through their drive thrus.  I like messin' with them when going thru their drive thrus.  I like to have the "Macarena" blaring on my car stereo.  I like to spin my tires.  But most of all, I like to place a really huge order for about 50 "special" coffees...coffees with FLAIR!  Half this, half that...mixing whole milk with soy (this one really gets them)...adding way too many extras shots of espresso...mixing all the different fancy syrups together.  Repeat after me, "Yes, I'd like a 1/2 whole milk, 1/2 soy, cinnamon-peppermint, grande latte with 10 shots, steamed to high heaven"...Now you just have to create 49 other "special" coffees and you're good to go.  COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WAAAANT TO...

I give this one a BUCKET RATING OF 8/10...(especially if there's a long line-up of cars behind you and you have a good sound system)
THANK YOU.  THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Monday, October 18, 2010

#999 Of 1000 Things To Do Before You Go To Dog Toy Heaven

#999: PICK UP GEORGE CLOONEY AT THE AIRPORT


You need a lot of chutzpah for this one because everyone is competing to be George Clooney's Driver.  I won the contract because of...you guessed it...FLAIR!  Plus he was impressed at the way I used my gifted mind to stare at an innocent bystanding goat at the airport.

I give this one a BUCKET RATING OF 9/10.  Excellent way to meet the paparazzi!  And remember..."You got to free your feet before you free your mind.  Let the dance out!"
THANK YOU.  THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

#1000 of 1000 Things To Do Before You Go To Dog Toy Heaven

#1000: RUN AWAY FROM THE PO 'LICE

Ok.  I must admit I have a rather big bucket list.  But when I do things, I do them with what, Audience?  You have just one guess.  That's right...FLAIR!  I was protesting on Parliament Hill and disturbing the peace with my Elvis Impersonation Concert.  The police arrived on the scene to arrest me and my best friend Mr. L.  I booked it...and managed to outwit the authorities, running as fast as my big feet would carry me.  Poor Mr. L, that's a whole other ball game. 
You can read about it at: http://iblogfornum-nums.blogspot.com/2010/10/news-bulletin.html

I give this one a BUCKET RATING OF 10/10.  Excellent source of adrenalin!
(In an Elvis tone of voice) THANK YOU.  THANK YOU VERY MUCH